A Load of Emotions

So, here I am, a week after spending three days getting to know my daughter, a precious lil’ girl, who the Lord is blessing me with.   What a blessing that is coming from an act of obedience!!  He is placing a sweet child in my family!!!  Praise God!

The last few weeks, have been a struggle for me, full of numerous emotions, imagining the life my baby girl has lived thus far.  It breaks my heart to think that my daughter has had no one to hold her when she was sick and not feeling well.  When she fell down and scraped her knee, I picture her caregiver quickly cleaning it off and then telling her to move along--not caring whether it hurts, not giving her a hug, not asking if she's okay and not giving her a kiss.  My heart just breaks with these thoughts, knowing that this continues to be the way things are, for her, even though she has a momma, who loves her dearly and wants to care for her, but can’t because there are 5,000 miles separating us. 

It doesn’t seem just or right.  In fact, it seems just plain wrong, and angers me.  My baby, regardless of how well cared they care for her in the baby home, she is still living as an orphan:  a life absent of a mommy.  It’s one thing when you don’t have a mommy, but when you do and that mommy wants nothing more than to bring her home and love her, but is forced to wait and remain absent from her life, is heart wrenching.  That is where I find myself…sitting and waiting.  Waiting for a court date, followed by waiting for the 10 day “waiting period” and then finally traveling for the THIRD time to bring her home.  It just seems so far away, full of WAITING…November 27^th, is my estimated travel date for court, 10 days after my baby turns 4.  Another birthday spent in an orphanage…another year gone by without a mommy.  Yes, that is the sad reality facing my dear lil’ V…and unfortunately, it’s not just the reality for my baby, but for millions of children around the world.  Depressing.

So, although my body is here, my heart is there. While I wait, I pray, I trust…knowing that our future is really in the hands of the Great I AM.  And during this time of WAIT (ugh the most dreaded word in my vocabulary, right now), I have had to find something to occupy my time and energy.  Otherwise, I can guarantee I would have already drove myself and those around me CrAzY!!!

So, what am I putting my energy into?  I have committed the next three months…and the rest of my life to advocating for orphans around the world.  One does not have to look very far in Scripture to gain an understanding of God's Dream for the fatherless.  His "dream" is that the fatherless be placed in families, and that the orphans and widows be cared for.  Our God hates injustice and promises to be a stronghold for the oppressed.  Although we may not "like" every bump and turn in the roads of our lives, we can be confident that "He works all things for good," and ultimately, in the end, our God’s plan preserves!

God's Dream is Bigger than our Passions. 
If there are two truths that I have grasped in the last three years, it is these:
1 - Children are "God's dream;" it is His idea, His mandate, that we be "fruitful and multiply." 
2 - From Genesis (3:15) to Revelation (12:17), we see that there is a battle raging for the "woman and her seed."  It cannot be denied that there is a WAR against our kids... for their hearts, their minds, their innocence, their destiny.  It is my mandate as a mother to go to war - in prayer- for my kids!  And that is what I commit to do, for lil’ V and the remaining 163 million orphans around the world!

I am confident that God's dream is bigger than my passions.  My passion, of course, is getting orphans home (particularly my daughter) sooner than later.  This passion is painful at times - manifested as a lump in my throat, a ball of steel in my gut, or a welling of tears in my eyes.  I look at her pictures with longing, and the picture of the many orphans I have met around the world.  I wish I could hop on a plane tomorrow and bring her and so many others home.  

Through it all (including the dreaded wait), I am certain that God's Dream is steadfast.  He started me on this journey and He will continue to lead me to her, and lead her home.  I am LIVING God's dream!  What an amazing thought!  In addition, God continues to remind me, that there is a "spirit of adoption" among my dear friends.  We have a word that has been given to us, which then prompted us to do more than talk about the injustice in the world, but to go live out His passion.  For all of you who have encouraged and supported me on this journey, I thank you, from the bottom of my heart.  With your help there will be one less orphan…one more child with a family… one more life changed.

Please remain posted as I begin advocating for precious children around the world, waiting for a mommy and daddy to come to them and show them true hope, love, and a life worth living.  It’s all summed up in two small words:  SIMPLY LOVE!!!