Be a Piece of the Puzzle

When I began this journey, it was a big step of faith for me.  Though I have wanted to adopt for some time, I felt resistance from many and it quickly became a greater leap of faith for me.  For those of you, who are encouraging and supporting, I really can't say how much this outpouring of love means to me…you are the best!

One thing I have said and felt all along is that I don't want this to be just about me or lil’ V.  All I do and say is for His glory...it is all about being His hands and feet, and reflecting the love He has shown me, in my life.  I could not do what I am doing without the grace of God in my life, or without the love and support of family and friends like you.

So, I invite you to be a part of this journey with me.  It is hard to ask for money; it is almost embarrassing, but there is no way that I could fulfill God's calling without help.  I make enough money to take care of my new daughter.  It's getting her here that puts me in a pickle ;) So, please help me bring her home.

Here it is, THE PUZZLE FUNDRAISER. 

I am going to hold this fundraiser until I run out of pieces of the puzzle or I travel to court, whichever comes first.  I am praying that I run out of pieces much sooner than I travel, and can have the puzzle displayed in a double-sided frame, for when she comes home.  

The puzzle is a 500 piece puzzle of lil’ V and me from my first trip.  Only 499 pieces are open for the fundraiser.  The first piece (the cornerstone) is reserved for God, for it was by His leading and His power working through His people that brought lil’ V home to me.  The remaining 499 pieces are up for sale for $10 per piece.

If are moved to participate and help me financially bring home my daughter you can go into my paypal (on the right side of this page) or you can e-mail me and I can give you an alternative form of payment.  Then you will need to send me a message to my e-mail (rachel.beck07@gmail.com) to let me know the following information:  your name, how many pieces you paid for, and the name you want on the puzzle piece.  Each of your names will go on the back of a puzzle piece(s), so that as the puzzle comes together, it will be a great symbol of all the lives that worked together to bring her home.

If you are willing to stand with me and help fund her adoption I thank you!

 

Last and Final Visit of Trip 1

This morning was the last day with my baby girl, until I return for court, in a few months.  It was a sad day for me, but I have lots of memories and a full heart!  I had an hour and half with my girl this morning and then I went and had my acceptance of Lil' V's referral submitted to the committee, which means as of 3 pm, I have legally committed to adopting my daughter!!!!!  WOOT WOOT!!

 

Lil' V's passport picture!!!!  Isn't she a doll!?!?!

I will post more upon my return to the states after I process more of the last three days.  Thanks so much for all the prayers as today was, by far, the most difficult.  I miss my baby girl and can't imagine life without her.  She stole my heart, with the first smile!!!

My Lil' BIG Blessing from God

ALL ABOUT MY GIRL

~Lil V was born 4 months after I turned 22.

~She is a serious lil’ girl who sits back and takes everything in.

~She makes AMAZING eye contact.

~She acknowledges me as her Mama (by pointing to and coming to me when asked about her ‘Mama’).

~She stays close to me, but reminds me of my sis…one who would rather self-entertain than be surrounded by her peers.

~Her growth is on target.  She currently wears a 3T.

~Her fine motor skills are great…she enjoys playing with play doh (a first for her) and enjoys dressing and undressing baby dolls.

~She is currently in Speech Therapy.  She has been in an orphanage environment since birth and I have ‘heard’ that institutionalized children lose 1 month of development for every 3 months spent in an institution. She is currently 45.5 months old, which would be equivalent to a 15 month delay, so I will be evaluating her developmental progress according to a 30 month old child.  I am unsure this figure is true for her speech/language (we shall see), and I feel her other areas of development are on target with actual age.  I believe that learning a new language will put her further behind temporarily, but of course I will be working with her daily on speech/language and I will also incorporate speech therapy, if necessary.  I have no concerns she will pick up English very quickly.  She is sooooo smart!

~She is quiet.

~ She loves music and dancing.

~She resembles me in some ways.

~She doesn’t give out smiles indiscriminately – but once she’s comfortable,  I have found I don’t have to work for these anymore.  She gives them to me freely!!

~I have only heard her laugh once, which was today, when a swung her around in a circle—so I find  I’m going to have to work hard for this.  However, hearing her laugh makes my efforts more than worth it.

Today’s visit was a time of READING…

 

PLAYING WITH PLAY DOH…

PLAYING WITH DOLLS (undressing, bathing and re-dressing them)

SHARING LOTS OF KISSES WITH MOMMA

HER KISSING MOMMA!!!!

Today I will see my daughter for the last time until I return to St. Pe*t for court in approx 3 months.  I don’t know how I will wait that long.  Saying that I will miss her very much, doesn’t even come close to how gut wrenching it is to think that I will not be able to see for nearly 90 days or 2,160 hours.  I understand children this young struggle with the concept of time, but my baby girl understands I’m her momma and that I will come and see her again…

On my first visit, when the caregiver said, “time’s up” and tried to take lil’ V she stood hand in hand with me, and would not let go.  Her eyes got glossy as she stared intensely into my eyes.  As they took her, and walked her away from me, she teared up, turning around the whole time they walked down the hallway with her doll her Aunt Stephie made her.  It was too precious…but also melted my heart that after only a 45 minute visit, she was sad to be taken away from me.  As I said, I think prior to my arrival lil’ V has had her heart guarded and God has been protecting her from much pain.

However, today, when it was time to go, she walked out with me, hand in hand, and gave me a kiss good-bye.  When the caregiver took her, she quickly glanced back as they headed down the hall, and waved “good-bye” to her momma.  When the caregiver returned, she informed me that the transition was easier for lil’ V this time…and said, that lil’ V declared, “I know my momma is coming back to see me.  She’s going to take me away.”  Awwww, how precious is that???  It melted my heart, but also broke it…this baby girl knows I’m coming back and that she will no longer be an orphan.  But does she realize it will be a long three months with more mommas taking more children away, while her momma seems to have disappeared?  My fear is that she will think I forgot or abandon her.  I am praying that the caregivers allow her to keep her doll, Llama (that she’s played wit during my visits, but that I have taken back each day to sleep with) and photo album of pictures to help her remember me.

My heart is aching for her but most of all for all the other orphans that don't have anyone coming for them.  Each one is precious, not only to me, but to our Heavenly Father!  What if we ALL saw them as He sees them?  I’ll tell you what would happen…there would be ORPHANS NO MORE!!!

Emotional Day One

I’ve said it more than once, but I’ll say it again: "I have come to realize more and more that the greatest disease and the greatest suffering is to be unwanted, unloved, uncared for, to be shunned by everybody, to just be nobody to no one" - Mother Teresa

That will no longer be the case for my lil’ girl.  She is wanted, cared for, loved, and near and dear to my heart.  She is a blessing from my Heavenly Father and I am beyond blessed.

I am so thankful the Lord opened my eyes to the true injustice of orphans around the world, back in 2009, in China.  It was then that the Lord opened my eyes to the vast need of so many unwanted, unloved, uncared for children.  Ever since then He has used it to weigh on my heart and drive to action, all to bring me to the place I am today…5,000 miles from home, looking into the eyes of a beautiful lil’ girl who needs a mommy.

And finally being able to look into those big beautiful eyes, has been one of the most amazing days of my life!  It has been a long time waiting, to receive an official referral.  It makes it seem more real, and offers extra assurance that no one else is going to try to adopt her, while I’m waiting for a court date.  It’s as though I can now say (not that I haven’t been already), this is my daughter, with more assurance that this is the lil’ girl the Lord has for me.  As of Wednesday afternoon, it will no longer be a concern as she will be “claimed for” (by me) and no longer available for adoption unless a family member steps up and wants to pursue her (however, I am not concerned about this happening).  Anyhow, just to be here and finally meet her for the first time…it’s surreal!  She is so worth it all…all the paperwork, all the time, all the tears and prayers, and yes even all the $$$.  She is worth it and so much more!  I would give it all, all over again.

When I saw my daughter’s eyes light up for the first time and saw this big, beautiful smile stretch across her face, I melted.  What the social worker had to share, about her and her past no longer meant anything.  She was perfect and there was nothing she was going to say, to change my heart.   Thankfully, they are going to translate her entire file and give it to me after court, since I missed much of what they were sharing, because I was more interested in holding and whispering, “Ya lyu-blyu te-bya” (I love you) and “Vsya ho-ro-sho” (it’s all right), to my V.

I wanted to get on my knees and ask God, why He is so good to me.  I know, to many, I do not appear to be the most qualified for the race set before me.  However, I was obedient and willing…and I believe that’s why I’m here right now…because I was willing.  And for those of you who have stood beside me, encouraging me throughout the last 6 months and even the months leading to my decision, I thank you. 

She is everything I prayed for and so much more...and soon we will be walking hand-in-hand through an airport to head HOME!!!!

Baby Home Visit Day #1

Today I received an official referral to meet a three, almost four year old girl.

Introducing...

My Sweet Lil' V

Here we are.

 

  

 

From Russia with Love

More pics to come throughout the next two days :) I will have a two hour visit with lil' V tomorrow morning and another one Wednesday morning.  Then I will sign the Consent for Adoption, get it notarized, and return it to the MoE.  She is a precious lil' girl and I know 100% that all will go exactly as it is meant to be and that I will be bringing her home this year!!!!!  I know without a doubt I'm on the right path and can't wait to bring my daughter home to experience a family for the first time in her life.

MoE Committee Meeting cont....

We (E, Cindy and I) arrived at the MoE at 9:11 this morning, hoping to be the first two going before the Committee.  However, there were two families with another agency before us.  At 10:51 it was finally my turn to go before the Committee and receive my referral.

Standing outside the Ministry of Education and Science (MoE)
prior to meeting with the Committee 

After meeting with the Committee (which is kinda a joke, given it was with my translator and one other individual), I was granted the referral to finally go meet my daughter.  So, we arrived at the Baby Home at 11:24 am.  Cindy met with the social worker at the orphanage first...then it was finally my turn.  The moment I had been waiting for...I walk into the room, learn more details about lil' V, and for the first time, I lay eyes on the beautiful Russ*an child who climbed right up on my lap.  I've been told she is shy and serious, but I believe that was God protecting His child's heart.  She came right to me, sat on my lap during the meeting, and now points and comes to me when asked "Who's your Momma?" or "Where's your Momma, V?" 

I signed the official paperwork!!!

I will blog later today on my visit.  I'm struggling to express my feelings in writing...maybe I will just post pics of my baby girl...

MoE Committee Meeting

While you are sleeping, I will be sitting in the MoE Committee meeting, learning about my daughter, followed by a visit to meet my lil' V!!!!!!!

All ready to go...and yes mom, I did remove my hair band
and PowerBalance bracelet before walking into the meeting!!!!

Arrived on a BIG Plane!

I have landed after 12 hours in the air and an additional five hours sitting in airports.  The reality of the whole life-changing reality has definitely sunk in...and I can't imagine what it will be like in three months when I board a plane heading back to the states as a mommy. 

As promised I will be writing while I'm here.  The purpose of this this trip is to be given my official referral for the child who is meant to become my daughter, at the Department of Education.  After meeting with the Committee, I will travel 30-45 minutes to meet my lil' V, where I will spend a small amount of time (hoping for a solid two hours) today and the same for the next two days, getting to know her.  Then I will return to Department of Education, Wednesday afternoon and officially accept the referral for lil' V, making it impossible for any unrelated family members to pursue lil' V, while I wait the estimated three months (yes, they are now saying I will go to court the first of Dec :( ), to return for court, and make it all official.

After landing in St. Pe*e, I quickly rushed through customs, picked up my luggage and was met by E, my Russian coordinator/translator and her driver, with a SMILE.  If you have ever traveled to Russia you know, Russians are not known to share a smile with a stranger, but I was greeted with not only a smile, but a hug. :)  Okay, I can do this!  

So, we drove the from the airport to my hotel located on Vasilievskiy Island located and arrived at the NasHotel about 40 minutes later.

Love, love, love the beautiful flowers out front

My room number (I'm one of maybe 10 rooms on the third floor).

Then Entry way...lots of BRIGHT colors!!

Surprising a CLEAN bathroom

A shower with no shower curtain or door...reminds
me of something I'd find at someone elses home...lol!

Where I should be sleeping...but since I can't sleep it
will serve as a comfy place to blog

This totally reminded me of our first and final hotel in Shanghi.

Once again...check out the bright colors in this place

Then around 6 pm, Cindy and her father arrived, to the hotel.  She is also going through the same adoption agency, so we'll be together for the next three days.  God truly blessed me...having the Stubbs traveling to Frankfurt with me, and then providing the same travel dates with another single adopting momma who also happens to be a sped teacher.  :)  How awesome is that?!?!  This is her second R*ss*na adoption, so she is a wealth of knowledge and an awesome resource.  I can tell she'll be "drilling" E with all sorts of questions about court, that I would've never even thought to ask, but will be great to know.

However, Ms Cindy is NOT a runner!  With that said, it is now 4:17 am...and I'm gonna go take my meds and go for a run along the canal this morning before we head out for my Committee meeting at 8:30.  Hopefully, I don't get lost or wind up, in the wrong hotel!!  Running with my passport, visa  (copies), hotel business card, and a map this morning...so hopefully I won't run into trouble.

Once again, thanks so much for all the prayers, love and encouragement!!!  Today is THE DAY, I will meet the lil' one I have prayed for, for so long!