Letter to the Governor

Vika wrote and hand delivered her first letter to Governor Sam Brownback today! First, she thanked him for helping me bring her home just two years ago, and then she asked him to continue helping other girls and boys just like her find families! I love her heart for orphans...and I love the Brownback family's heart for adoption! Thank you so much Governor Brownback!

Not His Intent

May our hearts grow softer and our voices rise louder…

“Defend the cause of the weak and the fatherless; Maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.  Deliver the weak and needy from the hand of the wicked.”  Ps 82:3-4

There is a saying often said by believers to bring reassurance and comfort during times of trial that actually makes me want to cringe.  This is not intended to ruffle anyone’s feathers, but since this is my blog, I’m going to tell it how I see it. The saying, "It is all in God's hand…that is His plan for your life..." ugh!  Regardless of the wording, the intent remains the same…God intended whatever to happen, to happen.

Throughout my life, and even the struggles of becoming a mama, I have heard this at least a hundred times, and every time I do, I want to scream.  But I don’t.  I attempt (although I’m sure my facial expressions have failed me) to remain calm, knowing someone is really attempting to be thoughtful. 

I believe God is omniscient.  I believe He knows what is going to happen even before it happens, even if it is not what He wants to happen. Suffering occurs in this world, but it was not part of God's original plan. In fact, truth of the matter is, I look at the world we live in and see that this life is FULL of things that are not part of God’s plan for His Children!  Open your eyes to the injustice around you.  The tears of the children and grief of the parents who can not care for their beloved babies weighs so heavily on my heart at times.  In the midst of it, I have to believe that God loves every soul – equally and passionately — and grieves for each situation individually more than I can understand.

In a perfect world, however, there would be no need for adoption. Biological families would stay together.  Children would be raised by loving parents or grandparents and remain in their homeland, surrounded by their culture and connected to their roots.  Obviously, statistics illustrate that we do not live in a perfect world. 

The Book of Genesis clearly states this. God allows for suffering because, without free will, our choices to follow Him or not follow Him would mean very little. Because of this, I believe that yes, God worked to bring Vika into my family... but... BUT... BUT…I believe that I was definitely His plan B for her life.

But still, some people feel the “need” to say, “it’s all part of God’s plan.”  Really?  Seriously?  I’m sorry but it bothers me to think of God, the One who sent His only Son to die for our sins, made us to be nothing but His puppets.  If it is true that we have a predestined path to follow, that is all planned before us, allowing us no choice in our path, then we are nothing more than a puppet and God is the puppeteer.  And if God’s the puppeteer then He creates all the hurt, suffering, disease, starvation, murder, etc. that we experience, and we have no responsibility for our own actions.   That makes absolutely no sense to me!!!!

For those of you who disagree and feel I should be “thrown outta the church” please explain to me why this loving God would purposefully put any child in an orphanage or give them a glimpse of the family they could have and then take it away? Why would He take the most amazing mom from a son and leave a gaping hole in the family that needed her? 

I believe that God's first choice is for all children to grow up within the loving arms of their biological families. When abandonment, relinquishment and/or forced removal occurs...well...I believe that is because something  from this world, not God, caused it to happen. As you know, adoption is a redemptive response to a tragedy. It is an absolute TRAGEDY that a child cannot stay with his or her biological family, whether it be caused by the personal sin of the parents (engaging in sinful behavior such as abuse, for example), or the sins of another who held power over the parents (whether familial, societal or political), or because of the overall sin of living in a fallen world (where things such as poverty, illness and death exist) despite the parents being without fault within the situation.

To say that it was God's first choice for a child to experience adoption is the same - to me - as saying that it was God's first choice for someone to be murdered. That may not make sense to some of you, but it's how I feel. Whether I am right or wrong, I do not know. I've never claimed to be a Biblical scholar. But it is how I feel.

I will not pretend to think that I know what God is thinking or doing.  But I will say, I do not see Him, "the God who so loved the world that he gave his one and only son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life," John 3:16 being that kind of God. 

In fact I believe quite the opposite.  Every disease, hurt, murder, abortion, or whatever you can come up with was in fact caused by man's decisions.  Maybe not YOUR decision, but somewhere, at some point, someone made a decision that has created this suffering.  And maybe it was Adam and Eve who sinned, who’s sin caused disease, suffering and pain to enter this world. Every roadblock, setback, and heartache I received on this journey to motherhood was not a God thing. It is an illustration of man's corrupt selfish nature.  

Now do I think God answers prayers, Yes. Do I think miracles happen, Yes.  Do I believe He left us here to rot and kill each other, No.   However, without freewill to make our own choices: evil, good, or indifference, it takes away the reason God created man, which was to have fellowship with Him.  I am not sure about you, but I have never had much fellowship with a puppet.

I do think God has a plan, but we choose or do not choose to be part of it.  We chose to love.  We chose to be part of the solution or one who sits and waits for others to act.

Orphan Statistics

It is estimated there are between 143 million and 210 million orphans worldwide (recent UNICEF report.)  The current population of the United States is just a little over 300 million and the current population of Russia is 141 million.

Every day 5,760 more children become orphans

2,102,400 more children become orphans every year in Africa alone 

Every 15 seconds, another child in Africa becomes an AIDS orphan

There are an estimated 18 million AIDS orphans in Sub-Saharan Africa with 8 out of 10 children orphaned by AIDS lives in sub-Saharan Africa

Approximately 250,000 children are adopted annually, but… 

Each year 14, 505, 000 children grow up as orphans and age out of the system by age sixteen

Each day 38,493 orphans age out

Every 2.2 seconds another orphan ages out with no family to belong to and no place to call home

In Russia and the Ukraine, studies have shown that 10% – 15% of these children commit suicide before they reach age eighteen

These studies also show that 60% of the girls become prostitutes and 70% of the boys become hardened criminals 

Another Russian study reported that of the 15,000 orphans aging out of state-run institutions every year, 10% committed suicide, 5,000 were unemployed, 6,000 were homeless and 3,000 were in prison within three years…

Adoption, however, is not the answer for solving the underlying issues of poverty, disease, famine and war.  It won’t stop the cycle of more children becoming orphans.  Adoption is often a band-aid placed over a gaping wound.  It is a life-line thrown out to a precious few… it rescues a small percentage from going over the falls.  The tough question, as we see the overwhelming need, is how do we bring solutions to the root of the issue?  How do we make a difference not just in one child’s life through adoption, but in the lives of the thousands left behind…and ultimately how do we stop the cycles that turn innocent children into orphans?

End world hunger and many adoptions will no longer occur. Stop stigmatizing single mothers, passing judgment on them, and many adoptions will no longer occur. Help find the cure for AIDS and many adoptions will no longer occur.

Children growing up in abject poverty do not necessarily need adoptive families... they need food and clothes. Children born to a single mother do not necessarily need adoptive families... they need their fathers to face up to the responsibility of raising them. Children born with special needs do not necessarily need adoptive families... they need access to adequate medical care and a community that embraces, rather than stigmatizes them.

It can be difficult to allow ourselves to really think about the statistics and what they represent.  Its easy to respond numbly and see the statistics in terms of thousands or millions, but when we allow ourselves to become personally involved and risk the heart-grief that follows awareness, they become more than mere statistics…they become real children with real hearts that ache for their parents.  They become real bodies that hunger for care.  Every single child that makes up the thousands or millions is a precious child, just like my Vika.  

That does not mean that I think adoptions should end. So, if that’s what you take away from this post, you missed the boat. Because the tragedies will still occur. My daughter was abandoned when she was a newborn. She lived in an orphanage for four years. At the time of her adoption, returning to her biological family was not an option...it was either to grow up in an orphanage or to grow up with an adoptive family. She is a wonderful little girl...one who deserves a family, just as ALL children deserve families. Since her biological family was no longer an option, for whatever reason, I am glad that God chose me, as His plan B, to be her adoptive family.

But her adoption? Was a band-aid placed over a gaping wound in Russia.

We continue to need the redemptive response of adoption...we live in a fallen world, a place where children continue to need a second chance at a family. But that does not mean we should wash our hands of and ignore the tragedies that cause that need in the first place. What are you doing to help end adoption?

I believe adoption is necessary, but when we focus solely on adoption, I think we look at only a small part of God's solution for a problem created out of sin. We need to dream BIG.  With God, ALL things are possible. We need to not only care for the orphans, but also the widows, the sick and the impoverished. We need to work to end the need for adoption while at the same time opening our homes to the children who need families the most.

I pray that my own heart will continue to be stirred and my resolve strengthened to speak out for those that have no voice.  These precious children need advocates.  They need men and women willing to make a difference…willing to stand in the gap and act on their behalf. 

Mama

She called me Mama.

My heart swelled up into my throat. I have known in my heart for months that she was my daughter, but I have only known her for 45 minutes and I felt a love for her that is different than my love for anyone else. This was a love that wants to protect, comfort and take away all her pain. This was a love that consumed my every move. I couldn’t get her home quick enough. She called me Mama.

Maybe I will never sleep past seven in the morning and maybe I will never have time to brush my hair and maybe I will never be able to eat a full meal without getting up and down a million times. It is worth it. Maybe it will always take me twice as long to do everything and maybe I will never have a really clean house and maybe my days of staying out late with friends are over. It is worth it. Anything I have to give up is worth that one minute when she looks at me and calls me Mama, when those little hands grab mine and those big eyes look at me as if I hold the keys to the world. It is worth it.

Sometimes I don’t know what God is doing in my life or why. But every day His plan is better than mine. And every day I am so glad that He is in charge, and not me!

So when my daughter ask why. Why I brought her home? Why did she deserve this? Why do I care so much? The answer is and will continue to be simple – because the Lord who created you LOVES you. Because He created you for a purpose and He wants you to fulfill that purpose. Because the God who knows every hair on your head desires to lift you out of this dust and into His glory.  Because God called me to be your Mama…that’s why!

These children (in the various orphanages around the world) gave me something, these moments, these little glimpses of something better and higher than the world that we live in.  Their faces, ingrained in my heart, keep my face smiling, my eyes shining and my heart dancing in my chest. It is them, who keep me pouring out every ounce of everything that I have because there is no better blessing than the opportunity to give yourself away.

“I will not leave you as orphans; I am coming to you; because I live, you also will live;” John 14:18-19

I want His peace to fill me up. I want His mercy to fall down, to fill up my senses. I want His story to pour out of me. I am finding fault with "stupid" things we do in America. I repeat to myself over and over and over, "rejoice in the Lord always." But sometimes, I find myself not rejoicing. Actually, it is more like moping. I can't put into word the feeling of leaving behind these other precious children, to return home with my ONE daughter.

But I have a message to tell. Lord, I am grateful for this message, Your message. It is not a message about me. It is a story of God's LOVE.  It is a message that tells of Your perfect plan. Lord, give me the words. What do I say to them Lord?!?!?! If I say nothing else, let me say this:  Love. Not just in America, but everywhere!!  Get out of your comfort zone and where ever God calls you, go and love.  Love. Love the way God loved you. Look to Jesus. Watch His life. "Now, go and do likewise!!!"

“But God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of self-discipline.” When I imagine God creating each one of us and planting a purpose deep in our hearts, I never imagine that purpose being mediocrity. “You are to find me in the least of these.” Yes. “You are to leave your earthly possession and come follow me.” Yes. “You are to love and serve the Lord God with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself” Yes. “You are to go and make disciples of all nations.” Yes. “You are to entertain strangers and leapers and tax collectors.” Yes. “You are to show mercy.” Yes. “You are to live a life of mediocrity and abundance, holding on tight to your comfortable lifestyle, lest you lose it.” No!!! I don’t think so!!! It is not there, though it seems like the safe choice for many.  Stop living like that, and start living out the Gospel!!!  Leaving your possessions to follow Jesus, entertaining strangers. It does sound a little scary, but what if just beyond that risk, just beyond the fear is a life better than anything you have ever imagined – LIFE TO THE FULLEST!!!

I’m not calling everyone to drop everything, pack up and move to Africa, China, Latvia or Russia to go be a missionary. I believe you can be a “missionary” right where you are. I’m just asking you to take a RISK. Make a SACRIFCE. DO SOMETHING today that you think you can’t afford, can’t be bothered by, don’t have time for. Stop and talk to a homeless man – if the risk is that he pulls out a knife, so be it. Play with your kids for an extra thirty minutes – if the risk is that all the work doesn’t get done, so be it. Share Christ with someone – if the risk is that they think you are strange, oh well.  You can choose to take a risk – do something for someone, make someone smile, change someone’s world. LIFE TO THE FULLEST – it exists. If you ever live it…well that choice is yours.

Vika is still alive. 

30 other children are not, because they died this hour of HIV. That is 250,000 a year. And that makes me mad, because you know what? HIV is PREVENTABLE.  Children do not need to be infected with HIV, and yet EVERY minute another child is born with HIV.

43,836 other children died today of starvation. That is 16 million a year. Starvation is PREVENTABLE. With all our wealth, technology and resources, why haven't we solved this problem? 2.5 million children die every year from malaria. HELLO. We have medicine that kills malaria. It is cheap. It is easy to transport. IT IS POSSIBLE FOR THESE CHILDREN TO LIVE.

And we don't act. We don't choose to make a difference. We make excuses. The economy is bad. Gas is expensive. So is food. We need this, and we need that. We can't afford to help. You lie…yes I am calling you a liar because I think that is not true. I think we are afraid. We put so much value on things we have. We are so comfortable with our extravagant lives that we cannot imagine living any other way. We are afraid of what could happen if we didn't live so comfortably; we are shackled by our possessions. We wrap our arms so tightly around what we have, that we cannot extend our reach to help those around us who truly NEED.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news (actually, today I LOVE it), but guess what: YOU CANT TAKE IT WITH YOU. I am not a cynical person but this is the truth: one day you are going to die. So while you are here, why don't you help someone LIVE a fulfilled life?

In the time it has take you to read this, five more children have died unnecessarily. This is not a matter that can wait. It is urgent. There goes another one. They are not just statistics they are people. They have a family and parents who love them (or at least a Heavenly Father who does). They were created by our Maker, for a purpose. They are dying because we have chosen to care more about our own well being then theirs.

And the TRUTH is, this is only the children I know personally, (making up in a very small fraction of a very large world). The TRUTH is that there are children like this all over the world, sick, starving, dying, unloved, and uncared-for. They are EVERYWHERE!!

The TRUTH is that if we call ourselves believers, we cannot sit here and not do anything about it. James says, "pure and undefiled religion is to love the orphans and the widow in their distress and keep ourselves from being tarnished by the ways of THIS WORLD". Jesus says that anyone who welcomes a little child such in His name welcomes Him. He also says that at the end of time when He comes back, He is going to separate the sheep from the goats. He says, He will put the sheep on His right and He will say to them "Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me." Notice He doesn't say to them, "Good job, you lived a life without sin." He already knows we aren't perfect. Notice He doesn't say to them, "Good job, you were intelligent, successful, made lots of money and had lots of things." He already told us to store up our treasures in Heaven. He said, "I tell you the TRUTH, whatever you did for the least of these brothers of Mine, you did unto Me."

This is the Truth...we were given the freedom to believe it. The FREEDOM and the OPPORTUNITY to DO something about it!!!

You will know the TRUTH and the TRUTH will set you FREE.

When the disciples asked Jesus what the blind man did to deserve his condition, Jesus replied, “Neither this man nor his parents sinned but this happened to him so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.” (John 9:3) Poverty is not a sin. I believe it is a condition, a circumstance that allows God’s work to be displayed.

Every circumstance is an opportunity for God’s work to be displayed. Will we do His work? Will He be displayed in our lives? Vika could have just as easily been you. How will you change your world today?  Will you change the world for someone else?  A child?

Brace yourself:

The TRUTH is that there are 147,000,000 orphans in our world today. 147,000,000.

The TRUTH is that 70 percent of these precious children will never have an education.

The TRUTH is that every day, 16,000 children die from hunger related causes. That is 5,840,000 a year.

The TRUTH is that about 1 in every 3 people living today does not have access to clean water.

The TRUTH is that 10,600,000 children under the age of 5 die each year. 54 percent of these deaths are from PREVENTABLE, TREATABLE illnesses.

You Call it Foolishness...I Call it Following God's Calling for My Life

For the word of the cross is to those who are perishing foolishness,

but to us who are being saved it is the power of God...

   fool·ish
         adjective

 1. resulting from or showing a lack of sense; ill-considered; unwise: a foolish action, a foolish speech.

 2. lacking forethought or caution.

 3. trifling, insignificant, or paltry.

Synonyms 

1, 2.  senseless, vacant, vapid, simple, witless. Foolish, fatuous, silly, inane, stupid, asinine imply weakness of intellect and lack of judgment. Foolish  implies lack of common sense or good judgment or, sometimes, weakness of mind

1.  imprudent, unreasonable, foolhardy, irrational; thoughtless, nonsensical, ridiculous, absurd, pointless, preposterous. 

This "foolish" plan of God is far wiser than the wisest of human plans,

and God's weakness is far stronger than the greatest of human strength.

Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that few of you were wise in the world's eyes,

or powerful, or wealthy when God called you. Instead,

God deliberately chose things the world considers foolish 

in order to shame those who think they are wise.

And He chose those who are powerless to shame those who are powerful.

God chose things despised by the world,

things counted as nothing at all,

and used them to bring to nothing what the world considers important...

1 Corinthians 1:18, 25-28

I cannot stop thinking about little Olga. I know that there are thousands and thousands more children just like her who desperately need families, but I also know that the Lord has put this little girl on my heart for a reason! I am praying for her and praying for the family that I believe the Lord is going to raise up for her! I believe that the Lord is stirring hearts for Olga and for the countless others who are in desperate situations. 

Adoption sometimes seems like a walk down the path of foolishness. When the Lord put adoption on my heart, and I began trying to explain to others why I was adopting, it was often met with a confused look, and their expressions and comments often communicated their sentiment: "That is the most foolish and absurd thing I have ever heard." 

"God deliberately chose things the world considers foolish..."

I know enough about cerebral palsy, to know it’s not a good reason for Olga to spend her entire life in an institution without the hope of ever being adopted:  Simply because she was born with this condition. I don't know what life looks like for a child who suffers from cerebral palsy.

Maybe adopting Olga seems too overwhelming, too daunting, too expensive, too time-consuming, too restrictive, too much, too hard, too soon, too late, TOO FOOLISH.

"For the word of the cross is to those who are perishing foolishness, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God..."

God is able to do all things. PERIOD! He can work miracles. He can heal hurting bodies and hurting hearts. Olga needs to know that and maybe you do too! God changes hearts. He changed mine.  He changed my course, set me in a new direction. I have no clue where it will take me and what it will look like. But this I do know. He has promised to go before me and make the rough places smooth (Is. 45:2). He has promised to lead the blind (that's me) by a way I don't know and to guide me down a path that is unfamiliar (Is. 42:16). Yes, it's a path of foolishness, but I know that there is ONE who has walked ahead of me down this very path. His blood-stained footprints lead the way. His nail-scarred hands are always reaching out to steady, comfort, and guide us.

So here's a picture of Olga. When you look at her sweet face and those big eyes, I hope Olga's condition - cerebral palsy - seems small underneath the shadow of the cross! I pray that whatever fears and reservations you have about adoption shrink under the shadow of the cross, too!

The power of God is manifest not in the wisdom of the wise nor in the prudence of the prudent,

but in CHRIST - Christ nailed to a cross. What could appear more utterly useless and foolish to the world than that? 

Who could call on a man on a cross for wisdom? See where it got Him!

But it was the cross that saved us. Christ was nailed to the cross in order that we may no longer live for ourselves, but for God.